RESTAURANT REVIEW: A day at Cafesserie’s third Ugandan outlet at the new Arena Mall

Cafesserie popped up on the market without much ceremony round about 2014 – I think.

I can’t really remember when. What I do remember was catching up with an old friend who decided the Acacia Mall branch might be a good idea to do the said catching up.

I hadn’t been there before, though, of course, it was all the rage by then – heck, even the mall itself was all the rage.

I just like to take my time about things. At Acacia Mall, I noticed that the brand liked to make an impression, blowing your mind like a girl wearing killer heels, an intoxicating scent and a sheer outfit that leaves little to the imagination. I don’t remember much about that evening, except that the food was amazing, and the whiskey was amber in colour (which might also be why I don’t remember much).

I do remember having the time of my life at that outlet.

Before we knew it, there was another branch at Village Mall, Bugolobi, and then another, at Arena Mall, Nsambya. By now, of course, it was obvious that the franchise was here to stay – and that it was indeed a franchise (of sorts).

I dropped by the Arena Mall branch of Cafesserie last Saturday, in the afternoon. The weather was January weather: sticky hot, with slow traffic and traffic policemen with the IQs of trees. I drove from my home in Naalya, across the city, and finally wound up at Arena Mall, seething with anger – driving in hot, hot weather in reluctant traffic will do that to you.

As I accessed the grounds via the Mukwano Road gate, I was thinking to myself “Lord, this better be worth it, or ama bite someone’s head off.”

I shouldn’t have worried – the entire set-up is arranged to disarm you. Especially the access to Arena Mall via the Mukwano Road gate, which allowed me to escape the traffic, and some absurd drivers whose parent’s heritage I had been vigorously questioning in the Saturday heat.

With my car access ticket issued by the automated dispenser at the gate, I parked in the spacious underground parking, grateful for the shade.

A series of hydraulic, spacious steel and glass lifts waited to take me up to the lower ground floor, where Cafesserie is located.   The lift doors opened on the lower ground floor, almost directly in front of the restaurant entrance.

You have to remember, this is a restaurant franchise that started its operations after watching what was on the market, so they had a pretty good idea about what they were going after.

The place hits you: it is opulent from the get-go, with an extravagant ice cream display, alongside a sumptuous pastry section. And while you are taking in the spiffy bar counter (which is outrageously gorgeous), the AC engulfs you with a smooth, welcome whoosh! I remember thinking “Thank you Jesus” as the hostess approached me. I might even have said it out loud because she politely asked:

“I beg your pardon?”

I assured her it was nothing, and without breaking her stride, she guided me to a table for one. I noticed the restaurant also had a terrace, but I decided that I would prefer to stay inside where the AC could flirt with my heated skin.

They do things smoothly over at Cafesserie – the hostess faded away and was replaced by a waitress with an impressively detailed menu.

Scanning it fast and hard (I was hungry – traffic jams do that to me), I asked the waitress to bring me water (cold) and juice (pineapple, mint and ginger).

It took them about 37 seconds (I was thirsty, so I was counting). I gulped down my water (I really needed to cool off) and gave the juice a try. Nectar. Honest to God, these folks know their juice. I am a juice addict of sorts, so I should know.

By now I had made up my mind – I would have the half chicken with mashed potatoes. My food took about 2 minutes to arrive. The half chicken is served with a barbecue sauce, creamy mushroom aside, and a side salad made up of chickpeas, red cabbage and a delicate dressing. The mashed potatoes were smooth, and I could have sworn they had been blended. The chicken was grilled evenly and seemed to melt under the blade of my knife. All plated on customized cutlery that gives the meal a regal, and exquisite touch and feel.

In the background, via the overhead sound system, I could hear strains of Merci Merci, a bossa nova jazz classic. My phone was charging conveniently right next to me out of a deliberately installed socket system, and I had already been provided with some wireless coupons to access the internet.

I took in the plush carpeting, the gold counters, and the green and gold counterbalance the interior decorator had gone for.

You see, Cafesserie is not just a restaurant – it’s an experience. It’s a lush experience with delicious food, elegant drinks and a service system that meant before my hand was halfway up, a waitress or manager was at my side.

I could get used to this, I thought, as my dishes were smoothly cleared away. I breathed in deeply, reluctantly understanding that soon, I would have to leave. In the background, the music had changed to Carlos Santana’s Evil Ways.

My last thought as I walked out of the restaurant, walking past that spiffy bar, was that I would love to see what this place looks like in the evening when the lockdown is lifted – you could be forgiven for thinking you were in downtown Manhattan.

Fact Sheet:

Cafesserie has Israeli ownership. The proprietor is Isaac Shpak.

He coined the name Cafesserie himself, so no – he is not tapping into a franchise or anything.

There is a branch of Cafesserie outside Uganda. It is located in Mombasa.

Cafesserie (Arena Mall) has a bar and serves alcohol.

Its pastry section can also take cake orders.

The restaurant is willing to host large groups/parties on weekdays.

Cafesserie does do deliveries.

It is located in Arena Mall, a property owned by Chestnut Uganda Limited, and managed by Knight Frank. Arena Mall was launched in May 2021.